Sore swollen wet eyes, sullen mood, straight face, heart aches are the common features that arise from relationship problems. Relationship problems are one of the worst things we don’t want to go through.
It could get out of hands and lead to heartbreak and suicide in critical cases but just before you get there, here are things you could do to avert it:
- Define it
A problem is really not a problem if it can’t be defined and it ceases to be a problem as soon as the realization of a solution sets in. Fumes and anger in the air, take a deep breath, go out for a walk, get a clear head and hit the problem with a name.
- Talk time
One should be aware of the other party’s emotions and know when it is safe to talk. Trying to talk when the other person is still angry can aggravate things and bring out angry words that would hurt one’s feelings. After the calm time is achieved, you can give your partner a lead on what you want to talk about.
- Now talk
Just before you start, try a smile and body contact, this will help to release oxytocin; a pleasure hormone to lighten the mood. Now when you want to start your conversation, begin with “I”, talk about your side of the story, your fears and your perception of the whole issue. Starting with a “You” makes your partner defensive and feeling attacked and blamed.
There is always two sides to a story and you can never understand your partner’s reason if you don’t listen. Hear each other out! Avoid replies such as “yes but…” and do more of “yes and…” this shows that you accept your fault and are willing to make corrections.
- Body language
Body languages are not just for making passes at each other, they are there for communication as well. Keep a close watch on your partner and measure the effect of all of your words on him/her. It will help you know when to stop, what hurts and when to apologize.
If you are looking to understanding the woman in the relationship, check out 10 tips to pleasing your girlfriend
After there is an agreement about the problem, planning the way forward is the next step. Two heads are better than one, team work sails faster and better. Plan out a solution and how best it will work.
Track your progress and make sure there is a difference and that you are closer to the solution. If you realize it’s not working out, re-strategize and draw a new plan till you arrive at the solution.