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Friends with Benefits!!! Easy Peasy???


This topic whirls the mind and summon up smirks, a reminder of a vivacious lifestyle many indulge in. Friends with benefits is mostly known as a sexual bargain in the modern world which springs out of notions and different ideals, it is also an arrangement between two parties or more, strictly on the basis of gaining something or doles in return; be it sexually, financially, satisfying bickering curiosity, or for the quest of adventure—without actually being in a relationship. There is always an utopian concept attached to this settlement, when the idea is conceived it isn’t given much thought at first but when reality sets in, it mirrors the flaws one never considered and things start to take a whole new turn.

There are movies drawn from the core concept of ‘friends with benefits’, or as I rather like to call it “friends to chop from” films like: No strings attached, Friends With Benefits, When harry met Sally and so on—which in some cases people have found misleading. In reality the ideal concept of friends with benefits portrayed in the movies, doesn’t have happy endings or isn’t as heart thumping as seen. In real life things gets complicated or to use the general term DRAMATIC, when one of the parties begins to want more or both aren’t sync as they were, the arrangement gets complex.  As researcher would show it only 10-20% of people who employ such activity convert into a long term relationship.

Friends with benefits which is usually brushed off or stylishly talked about, as increased in decades with many engaging and interest in relationship has lowered alarmingly. General Social Survey reveals that among college students surveyed between 1988 and 1996, 55.7% reported having had sex with a friend; among students surveyed from 2002 to 2010 that number leaped to a percentage of 68.6.

Now let’s break this down “friends-with-benefits”, when the word friendship is used, it solely means companionship, a rapport between people. The benefits in terms comes with gains or rewards— so when you put this words together. It simply means friendship but with a little goodies on the side. Love and sex expert Sheri Meyers psyD says “There’s a huge difference between ‘friends with benefits’ and ‘no strings attached'”

The “no strings attached” is the lack of explicit emotional commitment disengaging the thought of being with someone for a long future, while in friendship feelings is the core originality of camaraderie. No strings attached could be casual sex or perhaps a one night stand but there a difference between friends with benefits and no strings attached.

Being friends with benefits, especially with someone you are well acquainted with, could entertain the thought of having something special. It could also embody a preconceived notion as a test run (tasting the product before buying), the compatibility between parties.  There are psychological reasons which leads to friends with benefit, could be when someone wants to get out of a rut and try something different, or when a person is emotionally stunted—could also be an escape from a trauma. The big question mostly asked is; after sex then what? And how long will one run away from one of the most basic needs of man….LOVE! COMMITMENT AND COMPANIONSHIP.

friends with benefits
friends cuddling in bed.

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