Home World LIFE: My Gay Story By Agubata Kingsley Uchenna

LIFE: My Gay Story By Agubata Kingsley Uchenna

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My name is Agubata Kingsley Uchenna. I was born on the 2nd of March, 1975. I am fromNkwerre Local Government in Imo State, Nigeria.

I speak Igbo and English language fluently.  I am a Christian. I am a lawyer by profession, into private legal practice and was called to the Nigerian Bar in 2002. I am married to Ada Rachael Chile Agubataand we have a 2-year-old son named King David Chukwuemeka Chidera Agubata.

I grew up knowing that I am a full-blown gay man who liked to hang out with the same sex only. Was never into the opposite sex because I was never attracted to them sexually.

I had never slept with any woman for the first time till when I was emotionally and socially forced and blackmailed into heterosexual marriage based on culture and religion at the age of 42 years.

Living in my country Nigeria where gay life is seen as a taboo and being banned by the enactment of a law in 2014, called “SAME-SEX MARRIAGE (PROHIBITION) ACT, 2014”which criminalizes homosexual activities amongst men has been traumatic and agonizing for me. I have practically lived a withdrawn and solitude life all my life.

I have experienced countless ordeals as a gay man in Nigeria without reporting them to any authorities or to anyone due to the fear of being arrested, prosecuted, jailed or even killed sometimes. This is how bad and terrifying it to be a gay man in Nigeria.

My ordeal started early this year when I met one Mr. Jude Okafor on a dating site called BADOO. He pretended to be a nice guy on the said site. We chatted there for weeks and later exchanged numbers. Finally, we fixed a date to meet at a place of his choice that I honestly did not suspect was a den of lion so to speak.

On the agreed date, I drove to a bus stop called Abule Osun bus stop, supposedly leading to the exact address he gave me, located somewhere in Satelite Town in Amuwo Odofin part of Lagos State, Nigeria. From the said bus stop, i drove into a road trying to locate the exact address, but on my way, I noticed that the road was lonely and deserted, with bushes on both sides.

There was no one on that road even though it was in a broad day light, about 3pm. I was scared of the fact that the place is lonely and that something dangerous might happen to me with no one coming to my rescue.

Few minutes into driving down the lonely road, I suddenly realized from the rear mirror that someone was coming behind me. I looked back through the mirror and saw a tall, huge, light-skinned guy walking towards my direction with an unsuspecting smile on his face. He flagged me down from behind to stop so that he could talk to me, which I did out of courtesy and because I was also thinking in my mind that he could direct me to the address I was going to.

When he came to me, he suddenly forced himself into my car through the window because my glass was wound down from where I wanted to talk to him. He was now seated in the back seat right behind me. He pulled out a gun and pointed it directly on my head from that back seat and said; “if you make any silly move,

I will blow your brains out of your skull. I was so terrified that I felt it was the end of the road for me since it is a place where no one could even come to my rescue even if I decided to scream to save my life.

With the gun on my head, the first thing he did was to ask me to surrender my phone that he didn’t want me to make any suspicious calls that might implicate them. After collecting my phone, he immediately brought out his phone and put a call across to his syndicates. In the phone conversation, he shouted; “the homosexual that came to fuck our boss is here”.

Within a minute, I was surrounded by about 7 men coming out from different parts of the bushes on both sides of the road where they laid ambush against me. I was quick to recognize Mr. Jude Okafor, my supposed host in their midst. Jude entered my car, asked me to take off all my clothes with the exception of my boxers, he told me to leave the driver’s seat and come and sit with him at the back seat.

I obliged him out of fear of being killed and removed my clothes. With my boxer on, I went to him to the back seat as he commanded. Immediately I sat down beside him with fear written all over me, he began to caress me and commanded me to kiss him passionately. As I began to obey his command, I saw his members taking pictures of me kissing Jude.

The fear of having my pictures in this compromising position go viral on the internal was evident in my countenance but the fear of being killed by them made me to go on with the kissing despite the fact that I was not enjoying it as sex or romance is not supposed to be done under pressure.

After the photography session, they pulled me out of the carand started beating me mercilessly with all kinds of dangerous weapons such as; stones, knives, matchets, big sticks. I was also afraid that they could shoot me with the gun too. As they were beating me, they were calling me all sorts of queer names such as; “homosexual” “gay” “ass digger” “man that fucks his fellow man” etc.

They vowed to beat me to stupor and also to invite the community people in the area to lynch me to death. They searched my pockets and ransacked my car too, from where they collected all my belongings including my money, identity cards which contained vital information about me such as my home and office addresses etc.

I was helplessly lying on the ground as they were beating me pleading for mercy. After some minutes of beating, the leader in the person of Mr. Jude Okafor asked them to stop, that he wanted me to answer some questions. The first question they asked me was about my occupation. In response, I told them I am a lawyer. The second question they asked was about my marital status.

I told them I am married.  On hearing about my profession, they immediately demanded that I pay them a ransom sum of 10 million naira. I told them I don’t have that kind of money. On hearing that I don’t have that kind of money, they resumed their beatings, this time to make me agree to pay them the money under duress. I still insisted that I don’t have that amount. When they were satisfied that they had gotten some money from me that day, which happened to be 20-thousand-naira cash that was on me, they immediately set me free and ran off. But I did not know from that moment that they were up to something even more harmful and deadly to me. The whole incident lasted for about 30 minutes as I could recall.

I managed to get up in pain with blood stains and bruises all over my body, put on the torn clothes that they threw at me as they were walking away. I managed to enter the car to drive home and was also praying in my heart that the police would not stop me on the way to ask me what happened to me and I obviously didn’t want to implicate myself since I do not want them to know about my sexuality which could implicate me further.

When I got home, my wife asked me what happened to me and she quickly took pictures of me in that wounded state as evidence in case she needs to report the case to the police. I told her not to bother going to the police station to lodge any complaints that I will be fine. My reason for not allowing her to take any of such action is because I have never disclosed my sexuality to her before and after marriage and I don’t intend to reveal to her because I dread divorce.

Most Nigerian gay men like meare emotionally blackmailed into going into heterosexual marriage even when it is obvious that you are gay as a cover up from the judgmental society, culture and religious bodies. Based on this premise, I decided not to tell her the truth about what really happened to me that day.

I had my bath and we drove off to the hospital for treatment. When I got to the hospital, my personal doctor who knows about my sexuality after treating me of anal warts twice, examined me and insisted that I needed to be hospitalized so that he could carry out some scans and x-rays to know if any part of my internal organs was damaged. I obliged my doctor and I was hospitalized for about 3 days until I returned home and continued my appointment with my doctor as an outpatient. I was going for treatment from home until I got better.

I thought the whole incident had ended and died down until one day after coming back from work, I was in my bedroom resting, I heard a knock on my door, my wife opened the door and told me that about 3 policemen are at the main entrance waiting for me.

I came out unsuspectedly to attend to them, behold one them flashed an arrest warrant to me saying that I am under arrest in connection with homosexuality contrary to “SAME-SEX MARRIAGE (PROHIBITION) ACT, 2014”, that I am needed at the police. I denied immediately that I am not a homosexual.

They insisted that I am gay thatfrom a tip off by some concerned citizens in Satelite Town Lagos Nigeria to the police about some illegal activities of a group of men in Satelite Town in Amuwo Odofin area, that one Mr. Jude Okafor was arrested and brought to their station to make a statement about his harassment and extortion of gay people and also to list out the gay people he knows and has victimized in Nigeria.

That my name and address was mentioned in his said statement. I told the police that came to arrest me that I needed to go inside back and put on my clothes, they thought I was going to escape through the back entrance of my flat, they declined my request to go and change my clothes and whisked me away to their station.

At the police station I was brutalized and beaten again to stupor, despite telling them that I am a lawyer and a minister in the temple of justice. After much deliberation about who my legal representativewas, I was allowed to call my lawyer. My lawyer came and applied for my bail.

I was granted bail on my own self cognizance as a reputable and responsible lawyer in Nigeria. I was given a date to report to the station whilst investigation is ongoing. On the day I was asked to show up at the police station, I could not show up because my lawyer had informed me that the police told him that they are arraigning me to court.

I felt as a lawyer that my appearing in court would be embarrassing and humiliating. It would also cause me to lose my law practicing license in Nigeria and thereby destroying and terminating my means of livelihood.

Since then, I have been declared wanted for jumping bail by the Nigerian police through a police report and petition issued by the police to the public. Itwas also reported by a correspondent of a popular online newspaper house. I have been hiding at different houses of acquaintances.

I could not go back home or run my business successfully as an entrepreneur. As a result of these numerous publications and reports against me, members of my community and some unidentified mobs through strange phone calls I receive have threatened to kill me and lynch meto death if they ever set their eyes on me. That homosexuality is not African and would not be tolerated in its entirety. They also threatened to destroy and eliminate my immediate family too.

I have been condemned to live in solitude. I do not have anyone to talk to since i don’t trust anyone around me in my hiding place for fear of being reported and rearrested by the authority. Nobody wants to be seen in my company. It is also a taboo in the village where I come from to be gay, as the punishment attracts death by stoning as a sacrifice to the gods of the land.

I finally got my visa renewed and ran off to the United Kingdom where I usually feel safe and loved.I visited the United Kingdom for the first time in 2019, where i witnessed care, love and warm hospitality from my fellow gay men, which is the opposite of what is obtainable in Nigeria where you are judged, persecuted and killed sometimes. In the UK, I was able to fully express myself socially and otherwise for the first time.

I am in the UK now for my safety and do not want to go back to Nigeria where the community and unidentified youths want to kill me and where there is a pending arrest and trial awaiting me by the authority.

 

 

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