By Olayemi J Ogunojo
Love is the gift; the packaging is romance. Some gifts are wonderful but the wrapper horrible conversely some gifts are horrible but the wrapper wonderful and lastly some gifts are wonderful and the wrapper beautiful which make them irresistible. Therefore, how you express your love determines how romantic you are.
When I see a romantic husband
I ‘see’ a wife – enjoying a 7-star life!
February 14 every year is reputed as the day romance crawls out majestically from her castle in love to play her R ‘n’ B music for all who care to listen to dance with pleasure in pleasure. Even the fisherman didn’t forget to buy his wife Aso-Oke and the pepper seller in the local market remembers to prepare her husband’s favourite pounded yam with efo riro laced with bush meats from all walks of life. “Baalemi eni ni Balentine,” she says to her husband in Yoruba. When interpreted directly it means: Darling, today is ‘Balentine!’
Some couples drink the wine of love 24/7 to such romance is the soul and heart of love and as such love is meaningless in the absence of romance. Many essential, crucial things in life are invisible, abstract, untouchable yet irresistible, love and romance are examples.
Love and romance breathe, live everyday of the 365 days of the year; therefore we should register in our minds and embrace them throughout the year. Orientate yourself and let your cognition messaged your emotions and actions consequently.
There are two types of love – Platonic and romantic love which I label white and red love respectively! Mother-child love, love between siblings, relatives, business associates, friends irrespective of gender could be Platonic as well, in as much as the love doesn’t go beyond the border of ‘innocent’ love.
However, when a man and woman are very close people find it pretty difficult to believe they are Platonic friends. Romantic love basically is that which involves sexual intimacy at present or in the nearest future.
I often nurse an unconfirmed belief in my mind that the least romantic woman is more romantic than the most romantic man. How true? Perhaps very true! Women are very emotional, far emotional than men. That’s why their version of love or hate is usually possessive, overwhelming and more powerful than an erupting volcano hence its fall out is grave sometimes fatal to one partner and in some instances to both.
Loving is a behavior so is being romantic but romance I believe is the byproduct of love, the red love! This is because first of all you’ve got to fall in love before you begin to speak the language of romance to your love. Romance is a relative phenomenon because the most romantic thing to Lamidi may be the least romantic to Lamido.
Love always beckon on romance the way Coffee usually invite hot water and Garri often invite groundnut and/or sugar for vacations to a city some inches below sea level but they never got there alive for they always die and are put in the morgue called tummy and later buried in the soakaway, the cemetery of foods. The useful parts of foods are used and later cremated in metabolism, the heat of which warms our bodies and we feel it in our breath.
If your partner pampers you in public or private for ulterior motives, selfish reasons that’s not affection but affectation and sooner than later you’ll realize this. You can give without loving but you can’t love without giving, please note that the giving in this context transcends money or material gifts.
I’ve never seen where it was documented that an African man shouldn’t help his wife in the kitchen, I’m equally yet to confirm that maltreating your wife and shouting at her is a sign of authority that an African man should embrace. Ignorance, sheer ignorance! The subject of romance is more common with the elite than the unlettered.
Romance could be exhibited indoors or outdoors. The following are various romantic gestures of note:
- Kneeling down on one leg to propose marriage to your fiancée.
- Calling a radio station to play your partner’s favourite music on her birthday, your wedding anniversary or on any conventional day.
- Vacations in choice cities, exotic hotels around the globe.
- Going to the movies together.
- Organizing a surprise birthday party, wedding anniversary shindig … for your soul-mate
- Strolling hand-in-hand in the woods or beach to savour nature, even strolling together in the neighbourhood at dusk or jogging together at dawn.
- Heavenly hugs and kisses.
- Magical fingers with sensational touches.
- Breakfast in bed most especially when prepared by the man.
- Moonlit dinner in the garden.
- Candlelit dinner.
- Poem recitations and song compositions
- Cooking, washing or bathing together
- Candlelit bubble bath with Champagne
The list is endless but the last but not the least here which many men don’t realize is that
- Giving listening ears to your wife or fiancée is highly romantic! Men usually find this a bit difficult even when the newspaper, laptop or league matches is not in vogue.
Romance is an excellent, indispensable business associate of love just as your overall packaging: your business partner, markets you first-class to your audience.