Hey you! Did you know that you are very special? There is no other person in this world like you. You deserved to be loved not only by those around you but by the most important person in your life…YOU!
Self love is a popular term that often gets discussed in conversations these days. According to the English Dictionary- “Self love is an acceptance of yourself as you are, warts and all”. Some people see the term ‘Self love’ as inappropriate, selfish or extreme. But in the real sense of it, no one can ever be loved without first loving himself or herself. Self love is very important in living well, because it influences how you see yourself, how you cope with problems, how you project issues, and how you handle your welfare. If you can’t love those nails of yours that you think
are so ugly or your skin color or the color of your eye or hair or teeth, then why should anyone love them. That thing you think is what makes you insignificant or not adorable or less awesome might just be what your friend wants so badly. You really need to take a minute to look out there and see that there are people with worse situations or circumstances. As a matter of fact you should n’t ever expect anyone to love you when you feel embarrassed about yourself. Before any man or any woman on earth could believe in you, you have to believe in yourself first. If you keep complaining about how you look and all that, you may never find someone that will appreciate anything about you.
Self love isn’t something you can buy at the grocery store to make yourself feel good, or what you can get from a bouquet, or something you can buy from a beauty make-over. All these things may make one feel extremely happy and gratifying, but they don’t change what you think about yourself, hence they can’t make you grow in self love because it isn’t a simple act of feeling good. Self love is a state of appreciating one’s awesomeness. It is a dynamic action that matures us. Before you think of getting anyone to love you, first love yourself.
Practising self-love can be challenging for many of us, especially in times when we face serious challenges. It is not about being self-absorbed or narcissistic; it’s about getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our happiness. We practice self-love so we can push through our limiting beliefs and live a life that truly shines.
So do yourself a favor, take a deep breath, give yourself a little hug and start practicing the following 10 things:
1. Start each day by telling yourself something really positive. How well you handled a situation, how lovely you look today. Anything that will make you smile. Fill your body with food and drink that nourishes it and makes it thrive. Move that gorgeous body of yours every single day and learn to love the skin you have in there. You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.
Don’t believe everything you think. There is an inner critic inside of us trying to keep us small and safe. The downside is this also stops us from living a full life.
2. Surround yourself with people who love and encourage you. Let them remind you just how amazing you are. Stop the comparisons. There is no one on this planet like you, so you cannot fairly compare yourself to someone else. The only person you should compare yourself to is you. End all toxic relationships. Seriously. Anyone who makes you feel anything less than amazing doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. Celebrate your wins no matter how big or small. Pat yourself on the back and be proud of what you have achieved.
3. Step outside of your comfort zone and try something new. It’s incredible the feeling we get when we realize we have achieved something we didn’t know or think we could do before. Embrace and love the things that make you different. This is what makes you special. Beauty is skin deep, charm is deceptive. Realize that beauty cannot be defined. It is what you see it as. Don’t let any of those “Photoshopped” magazines make you feel like your body isn’t perfect. Even those models don’t look like that in real life.
Take time out to calm your mind every day. Breathe in and out, clear your mind of your thoughts and just be yourself.
4. Follow your passion. You know that thing that gets you so excited but scares you at the same time. The thing you really want to do but have convinced yourself it won’t work. You should go do that! Be patient but persistent. Self-love is ever evolving. It’s something that needs to be practiced daily but can take a lifetime to master. So be kind and support yourself through the hard times. Be mindful of what you think, feel and want. Live your life in ways that truly reflect this.
5. Treat others with love and respect. It makes us feel better about ourselves when we treat others the way we hope to be treated. That doesn’t mean everybody will always repay the favor, but that’s their problem, not yours. Find something to be grateful for every day. It’s inevitable that you are going to have your down days. This is fine and very human of you. It’s especially important on these days to find at least one thing you are grateful for as it helps to shift your mind and energy around what’s going on.
Reach out to family, friends, healers, whoever you need to help you through the tough times. You are not expected to go through them alone.
Learn to say no. Saying no sometimes doesn’t make you a bad person; it makes you a smart person.
6. Forgive yourself. You know that thing you did one time (or maybe a few times) that made you feel bad, embarrassed, ashamed? It’s time to let that go. You can’t change the things you have done in the past but you can control your future. Look at it as a learning experience and believe in your ability to change.
7. Write it down. Head swimming with so many thoughts it’s giving you a headache? Write them all down on a piece of paper, no matter how crazy, mean, sad, or terrifying they are. Keep it in a journal, tear it up, burn it, whatever you need to do to let it go.
Turn off and inwards. Grab a cup of your favorite tea, coffee, wine, whatever your choice of drink, and sit down for a few minutes on your own. No TV or distractions, just you. Think about the wonderful things that are happening in your life right now, what your big dreams are and how you can make them happen. Give up the need for approval from others. “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” — Dita Von Teese
8. Be realistic. There is no person on this earth that is happy every single moment of every single day. You know why? Because we are all human. We make mistakes, we feel emotions (good and bad) and this is OK. Allow yourself to be human.
9. Get creative and express yourself in whatever way you like. Painting, writing, sculpting, building, music, whatever takes your fancy, and make sure you leave your inner critic at the door. There are no right ways to be creative.
Let go of past trauma and wounds. This can be a really tough one and it may be one of those times you need to turn to others for support. The truth is though, when we let go of things that have happened to us it’s almost like a weight is lifted off our shoulders. We don’t have to carry that around with us anymore. We deserve better.
Find your happy place. Where’s the one place you feel totally at ease, calm, happy, positive, high on life? Go to that place when you are going through hard times, or imagine yourself being there. Think about how it feels, what it smells like, what it looks like.
10. The next time you are feeling happy and on top of the world make a list of your best qualities and accomplishments. It may sound a little corny, but it can be a wonderful reminder when you are having a day that’s less than amazing.
Get in touch with your inner dialogue. If it’s anything less than loving, encouraging and supportive, it’s time to make a change. You deserve to be spoken to in the same way you would speak to your best friend, sister, brother, daughter, or son.
Have fun! Get out there and do the things that light your fire. Enjoy them, enjoy being you and enjoy your incredible life.