continue from last week
Desmond Elliot met his wife at the Jos University Campus, they were both in the same fellowship. The ace and popular pilot Capt. Matthew Ekeinde first met his celebrity-wife Omotola Jalade in church but it was more or less a matchmaking from his immediate elder sister who knew Omotola before him and actually told him to come meet a wonderful young lady in her church. The showbiz impresarios Tunde and Wunmi Obe (TWO) met at UNILAG they were both in the same musical band. The leather game tactician, Okochatician the jay-jay, met his wife Nkechi at a wedding ceremony in Enugu.
The musical icon, Orlando Julius met his African-American wife, Latoya (a professional dancer) at a friend’s house in the US. She joined his band and they later fell in love. She was a brave and confident woman for she made the first move and he felt the burning-candle experience. This is what he said about how he felt when she asked him out: “I turned grey and melted. No woman had ever come up to me with such boldness. I was speechless!”
The long and short of this sermon is that we fall in love with someone close to us because Cupid usually hit his target when the distance between him and his target is short. Many relationships that led to marriages actually started on campus in contrast however, many started on campus but never saw the light of the day.
The type of experience we have which may be direct or indirect usually mould our cognition hence perception and opinion about diverse issues in life. A preschool boy who saw his friend mistook honey bee for bumble bee and got stung in the process would regard all bees as honey which is a self-protecting mechanism.
In the same vein a man who had a nightmare the previous night where he was being pursued with knife would walk faster or even pace away if he sees a butcher with his paraphernalia of office on his head coming behind him (in a lonely path) at 6.00am the following morning. I therefore respect the opinions of all my respondents more so they all had good reasons for their verdict!
I went to various campuses, from University of Ilorin (UNILORIN) to Kwara Poly, from University of Ibadan (UI) to The Polytechnic Ibadan down to University College Hospital (UCH) to sample students’ opinions on the reality or fluidity of campus love. In other words, how do they see it? Ruse or fact? Some students don’t believe in it, others do and some are indifferent about it. Those that didn’t believe in it I believe would compare it to seeing a popular high net-worth business executive in black suit and tie dragging a black goat on tie along Adeola Odeku Street, VI while those that do see it as Ayankunle, the professional drummer – yes no big deal!
THESE ARE THE VARIOUS OPINIONS OF MY RESPONDENTS:
300 level student of Psychology (UI.)
“I don’t believe in it because out of 100 cases it doesn’t work out in 90. I’ve seen many that never went beyond two months even the ones that looked promising at the outset had miscarriages in less than a year. Those relationships are flings because the players are not usually serious!”
Part three Psychology student, UI.
“I can’t subscribe to or endorse it because most students are out for the fun of it. Instinctual impulses drive those relationships. Thus the motivation is short-term pleasures not long-term relationship with marriage in view so they never culminated in ‘I do’ in front of witnesses from all walks of life.”
HND II Civil Engineering student of The Polytechnic Ibadan.
“I don’t believe in it so I’m not into it. Some classmates dated and those relationships ended tragically. The chance of it succeeding is 40 per cent. Though school is an opportunity to meet one’s future partner, the pressure outweighs the pleasure!”
200 Level student of the Department of Arts Education, UNILORIN
“Yes I believe in campus relationships because there’s no where you can’t meet your soul mate, the love of your life! Yes some campus relationships failed but to every failed campus relationship there are many more that succeeded. And since no one has relationship crystal ball one has to take the risk.”
400 level Dentistry student, UI.
“Campus love is real and I believe in it. In fact, two of our lecturers met in medical school got married and apparently living happily together. They’d told us time and time again that they met while on campus. They’re in love and very fond of each other.”
300 level Business Administration student, UNILORIN
“It often works out fine for those who have sincere motives but the reverse is the case if one or both partners have ulterior motives. I’ve had similar experiences but the determining factor like I said earlier is the mindset of the players. If they are on the same page, in other words if marriage is their motivation, they will weather the storm in the relationship and invite people to come share in their joy, fill their minds with fun and tummies with food.”
An ND II student of Mass Communication, Kwara State Polytechnic.
“I don’t believe in it because it’s a game with very low tendency for ladies to win. When you’re in a relationship with a guy while on campus there’s the likelihood of sex to come in and when sex is involved, the lady is at risk of losing the guy because he’s already enjoying as a single man what he should as a married man. At the end of the day the relationship becomes monotonous and the lady becomes boring so nothing more to look forward to. The motivation and passion had bolted away like prisoners in a jailbreak so instinctively the guy would abort the affair. So in my humble opinion a lady should go into a relationship when she’s ready to marry.”
200 level Electrical/Electronics Engineering student of UNILORIN.
“Personally, I don’t believe in it because it doesn’t exist. I tried it but it never worked out. I know of a guy as well who dated a lady on campus, we all thought they were altar-bound but at the end of the day the guy gave her a sack letter and married someone else.”
500 level student of Medicine/Surgery UI.
“Yes and no because it depends on the motives of the ‘lovers’. If you don’t find your future partner on campus as a student, it might be pretty difficult to get one when you‘re out of school. At least before you started dating you must have known and observed each other closely. While you’re in school you’ve the whole time in the world to examine and reexamine each other’s behaviour because of the proximity factor. The free access will make you assess her to know if she’s a wifely material or not. All in all, I believe in it because it’s more promising and a sure way to marriage if you’re a sportsmanlike driver.”
ND I Science Laboratory Technology student of Kwara State Polytechnic.
“I believe in it, though at the moment I’m not in any relationship but come next session, I might decide to choose a lady of my taste that I’ll eventually marry.”